Recent pathbreaking research at the Spitlik Observatory in Dutsrich, Iowa has shown there was indeed life on 'Tightanius 12', the thirteenth moon of Saturn. Scientists at the world famous observatory confirmed that their Fourier and Lablanche analysis techniques on radio signals received over the past five years have yeilded positive results. A simple form of unicellular life existed for about fifty thousand years until very recently. The organisms - which are yet to be classified - walked a very thin tight rope and finally succumbed to aggressive evolutionary selection. They were a Gresmanium based life form - which is an allotrope of Radon - and often went to jail before dark on Saturday evenings.
More than anything else, this discovery should put the soul of much vilified Greek ornithologist and philosopher, Spanyis Eristidinis, to rest. One evening, a couple of Tuesdays ago in the late fifteenth century, Eristidinis went for a walk in the park with his dog Nagasaki and binoculars. He was looking to spot the elusive Wasston's Warbled Speckler which, rumour had it, had built a nest in the vicinity. While looking at the nearby apple tree through his binoculars, hoping to catch a glance of the legendary bird, he spotted a movement not too far behind in the sky. Something had moved on 'Tightanius 12'. So excited was Eristidinis by his discovery, that he immediately yelled out in his coarse, little known dialect of Greek, "Armoricous Ministiliculicuss!!!" - which roughly translates to, "Corblimey!.....that's my leg you're peeing on, you blasted mutt!!!". He then went back home and proceeded to write a 500 page volume on the unicellular civilization of Tightanius 12 and even predicted when and why they would be wiped out. A week after the book hit the stands, Eristidinis and Nagasaki were both sentenced to be executed for blasphemy by the democratically elected government. Their bodies were thrown into the Bosphorus and a few days later, they were washed ashore in a highly decomposed condition in downtown Istanbul where they were consumed by a cat named Rushtu which belonged to a humble tax paying Turkish opium peddler.
More than anything else, this discovery should put the soul of much vilified Greek ornithologist and philosopher, Spanyis Eristidinis, to rest. One evening, a couple of Tuesdays ago in the late fifteenth century, Eristidinis went for a walk in the park with his dog Nagasaki and binoculars. He was looking to spot the elusive Wasston's Warbled Speckler which, rumour had it, had built a nest in the vicinity. While looking at the nearby apple tree through his binoculars, hoping to catch a glance of the legendary bird, he spotted a movement not too far behind in the sky. Something had moved on 'Tightanius 12'. So excited was Eristidinis by his discovery, that he immediately yelled out in his coarse, little known dialect of Greek, "Armoricous Ministiliculicuss!!!" - which roughly translates to, "Corblimey!.....that's my leg you're peeing on, you blasted mutt!!!". He then went back home and proceeded to write a 500 page volume on the unicellular civilization of Tightanius 12 and even predicted when and why they would be wiped out. A week after the book hit the stands, Eristidinis and Nagasaki were both sentenced to be executed for blasphemy by the democratically elected government. Their bodies were thrown into the Bosphorus and a few days later, they were washed ashore in a highly decomposed condition in downtown Istanbul where they were consumed by a cat named Rushtu which belonged to a humble tax paying Turkish opium peddler.
